Meet with each nurse individually to resolve conflicts and gather information

One-on-One Talks: The Smart First Step in Resolving Nurse Conflicts

When two nurses clash, the whole unit can feel the tremor. The patients notice the tension, shifts can become noisy, and morale takes a hit. In these moments, a nurse manager’s instinct matters just as much as clinical know-how. The move that sets the tone—before you bring everyone together—is simple: meet each nurse individually to gather information. This one-on-one approach isn’t about picking sides. It’s about understanding what happened, why it happened, and what’s needed to move forward.

Why meeting separately is the right first move

Think of it like gathering clues before solving a puzzle. When you bring two people into the same room right away, you might trap them in defense mode. They may hold back, worry about what the other will say, or feel like they’re being judged in public. Individual conversations create a safe space. Each nurse can share experiences, concerns, and their side of the story without the pressure of an audience.

This approach has two big benefits. First, it gives you a complete picture. Conflicts often hinge on miscommunications, stress, or unspoken expectations. Hearing each point of view in depth helps you spot what’s really driving the friction. Second, it signals to your team that you value fairness and transparency. People feel seen when their voice matters, and that trust is the seed of healthier teamwork.

Why not start with a team meeting?

A team meeting sounds efficient, but it can backfire. When the whole group gathers, emotions can rise quickly, and someone might feel boxed in or publicly criticized. That can harden positions instead of softening them. You might also miss sensitive details that only come out in private. A team discussion can still play a crucial role later, once you’ve mapped the issues one by one. For now, one-on-one talks lay a solid foundation for a constructive, confidential, and balanced conversation.

What to do in the one-on-one talks

Here’s a practical way to structure those conversations, without turning them into a grilling session.

• Set the stage with care. Choose a quiet, private space. Schedule 20 to 30 minutes. Be clear about the purpose: to understand what happened, how it affected each nurse, and what would help them feel safe and respected at work.

• Start with open questions. Instead of pointing a finger, ask questions like:

• “Can you walk me through what happened from your perspective?”

• “What did you need in that moment, and what got in the way?”

• “How did this affect your ability to care for patients?”

These questions invite detail and guard against vague or blaming language.

• Listen actively. Give full attention, nod, and reflect what you hear. Say things like, “What I’m hearing is…” or “So you felt… because…” This shows you’re listening, not just collecting statements.

• Separate facts from feelings. It helps to distinguish between observable facts (timing, actions) and emotions (frustration, fear, concern for safety). Acknowledge the emotion: “I hear you were worried about patient safety.” This validation keeps the conversation human and focused on solutions.

• Keep notes, but stay discreet. Record key points, patterns, and any requests, not every word. Confidentiality matters. Sharing too much can erode trust.

• Look for root causes, not just symptoms. Ask about communication styles, workload pressure, shift handoffs, or unclear expectations. Sometimes the real issue isn’t a bad interaction but a breakdown in systems that fuels it.

• Identify potential resolutions. Ask, “What would help you feel safer or more respected moving forward?” Brainstorm options together, even if they’re small. The aim is a plan you can implement.

• Define concrete next steps. Pick a few action items, assign responsibility, and set a follow-up check-in. Documentation helps keep everyone accountable without turning the process into a test.

• Plan for fairness and safety. If there are safety or professional concerns, address them promptly. If needed, consider a mediation session with a neutral facilitator or a short skills refresh on communication.

What you’re listening for (and why it matters)

Two of the big levers in conflict are communication style and unmet expectations. You’ll often find that:

• The underlying issue is about how feedback is given and received.

• Power dynamics or past interactions color the current story.

• Stress from staffing, patient load, or personal life leaks into professional behavior.

Your job is to identify these levers without labeling people as “the problem.” Framing the issue around systems and processes helps keep conversations constructive rather than personal.

From information to action: the next steps

After you’ve talked with each nurse, you’ll map the insights to a plan. Here are practical avenues you can consider, depending on what the talks reveal:

• Mediation with a neutral party. A trained mediator can guide a structured dialogue, help both sides acknowledge impact, and agree on terms for moving forward.

• Team-building or communication skills training. If patterns point to miscommunication, consider a short, focused session on I-statements, active listening, or effective handoffs.

• Clarified expectations and updated protocols. Sometimes the friction comes from unclear roles or inconsistent procedures. Revisit job expectations, escalation paths, and handoff routines, and put them in writing.

• Shift adjustments that aren’t punitive. If scheduling or workload contributes to tension, adjust assignments thoughtfully, aiming to balance workload and minimize stress, while keeping fairness in mind.

• Ongoing coaching and check-ins. Set a cadence for quick follow-ups. A few minutes weekly can prevent backsliding and keep the team on track.

A sample mini-scripts set you can adapt

If you’re new to this, a few ready-to-use phrases can help. You don’t want to sound robotic; you want to feel steady and sincere.

• Opening: “I want to understand what happened from your side. What would you share about the last incident?”

• Reflecting: “So you felt your concerns weren’t heard during the handoff. Is that right?”

• Probing gently: “Can you give me an example when you felt supported, and another when you felt stretched too thin?”

• Moving toward resolution: “What would help you feel more confident about collaborating with your colleague?”

• Closing: “I’ll summarize what you’ve told me and outline the steps we’ll take. Let’s plan a follow-up in a week.”

Real-world texture: a quick scenario

Picture this: two nurses, Mia and Raj, disagree over a patient’s pain management plan. Mia feels Raj dismisses her input during rounds. Raj believes Mia isn’t documenting changes quickly enough. Individually, you hear Mia describe a sense of being rushed and not heard; Raj talks about time pressures and unclear notes. In separate talks, you both feel heard and you both acknowledge the other side’s point of view. The next move? Talk through concrete steps: a shared template for pain notes, a brief daily huddle during peak times, and a mediation session if needed. The result isn’t a forced harmony; it’s a practical agreement that respects both voices and centers patient safety.

What this approach does for the team

When a manager takes the time to listen one-on-one, the team learns to trust the process. People see that issues are addressed, not hidden or ignored. That trust translates into better communication, smoother handoffs, and a safer room for patients. It also builds autonomy: nurses learn to voice concerns constructively, seek help when needed, and work toward collaborative solutions rather than letting frustration fester.

A final thought: the human side of health care

Nurses are people who care deeply—about patients, about each other, and about the environment in which they work. The first step in resolving conflict is a human step: a respectful conversation that gives space for both sides to be heard. The goal isn’t to win an argument; it’s to restore a working rhythm that keeps patients safe and staff supported.

If you’re studying topics tied to professional communication in health care, you’ll see this pattern again and again: gather information with care, stay curious, and anchor your next moves in clear, fair actions. One-on-one conversations don’t just resolve a moment of tension; they set a tone for how a unit handles friction in the future. And that tone—when paired with practical steps and ongoing support—can turn conflict into a catalyst for stronger teamwork and better patient care.